Peacefully at Play

By Cheryl Williams

When we think of children, many different images come to mind. Many of our own memories of childhood include much happiness, joy, and carefree days of hours passing by. Play time is a very important time for children. It is when they learn, grow, pretend, enter the world of make-believe, and use those ever curious minds to seek out the why’s, the how’s, and the wherefore’s. Enter the mind of a child, and your imagination is the limit.

Play time for children has another purpose. It is their work. Just as many adults go to work every day, children have their “work” they must do.

It is our job as their caregivers to ensure that this “work” time in meaningful. Just as we choose healthy foods for children to eat, instead of empty calories, so too must we choose healthy play. We can empower them to choose healthy, fulfilling, life-giving play over empty play.

People do not learn to become peacemakers overnight. Instead, they learn to be peacemakers after developing many foundational skills and attitudes. We can nurture these skills and attitudes in our children by providing them with the right kinds of toys and books. Following is a list of considerations which are helpful in determining the value of particular toys or books in helping to shape children as peacemakers. Generally, the more of these criteria which are met by a book, toy, or game, the greater its value in teaching peacemaking skills and attitudes.

For nurturing peaceful coexistence with others:

1. Will it encourage caring for oneself and others? Examples: doctor’s kit, rescue helicopter, firefighting hat.
2. Does it encourage sharing or cooperation? Examples: rhythm band instruments, blocks, Legos.
3. Will it teach good listening and communication skills? Example: puppets.
4. Does it encourage the appreciation of human differences? Example: globe of the world, drawing supplies, Kofi and His Magic, by Maya Angelou.
5. Is it free from stereotypes of race and gender? Examples: A Weave of Words, Fa Mulan, and Brave Margaret by Robert D. San Souci.
6. Does it nurture non-violent conflict resolution skills? Examples: Flossie & the Fox, by Patricia McKissack, Anansi & the Moss Covered Rock, retold by Eric A. Kimmel, and Pulling the Lion’s Tail, by Jane Kurtz.
7. Can it teach children to use their power and skills in positive ways? Examples: garden tools, jump rope, paints, and The Frog Who Wanted to be a Singer, by Linda Goss.
8. Will it teach stories or facts about humanitarian heroes, and the consequences of justice and peaceful coexistence? Examples: Everybody Bakes Bread, by Norah Dooley and Miss Rumphius, by Barbara Cooney.
9. Does it teach stories or facts about the consequences of war, violence, poverty, or injustice? Examples: The Butter Battle Book, by Dr. Seuss and December, by Eve Bunting.
10. Can it teach about a particular philosophical vision of peace? Examples: Books about Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, and Jataka Tales, Fables from the Buddha, edited by Nancy DeRoin.
11. If it involves competition, is it a healthy form of competition? Example: a basketball or soccer ball.

For teaching peace with our earth:

1. Does it encourage sensitivity and curiosity about our natural world? Examples: microscope, binoculars, compass, weather instruments, When Agnes Caws, by Candace Fleming.
2. Will it teach coexistence with, rather than exploitation of, the natural world? Examples: a butterfly guide, seeds for butterfly plants, bird feeder, gardening tools.
3. Does it teach facts and consequences of the careless use of natural resources? Example: Just A Dream, by Chris Van Allsburg.
4. Consider using toys without batteries or electricity. Examples: frisbee, kite, roller skates, blocks, balls, sidewalk chalk.
5. Can it teach about alternative forms of energy or transportation? Examples: bicycle, model train, solar energy kit.
6. Consider making your own toys rather than purchasing them. Examples: homemade play dough, blocks, bottle cap toss.

General considerations for a good toy:

1. Is it safe?
2. Is it fun?
3. Does it stimulate creativity? Examples: art supplies, musical instruments, Legos.
4. Is it durable and worth the price?
5. Is the packaging truthful and not excessive? (Packaging is notoriously misleading. Teach your children to understand this concept.)

There are many additional books, games, and toys available. Use your imagination to find meaningful play for the children whose lives you touch. Have some wholesome fun with this new mission.

When children have the skills to talk and work through difficult situations, which they learn by doing their healthy “work,” they become more capable of dealing with conflict and finding solutions. This in turn makes for more peaceful families, and more peaceful school and living communities. It is an epidemic of sorts. The anger can be vented without violence, and it is passed on. Television has had a tremendous impact on our society. Hundreds of studies conducted in more than a dozen countries have all come to the same conclusion: children who watch violent television programs behave more aggressively than children who do not. Parents need to actively filter what is being marketed to their children.

Cheryl Williams is founder and Director of the “Children’s Peace Fair” held in Wyomissing, PA

This article originally appeared in Parents' Source, September 20, 2002.
Re-printed by permission.