Teaching Acceptance, Tolerance and Diversity

By Dina R. Melchiorre

“Everything has its beauty, not everyone sees it.” Confucius

Do you teach your children to accept others, tolerate their differences and celebrate diversity? Are members of your family sensitive to the special qualities and needs of friends, neighbors and acquaintances? If you are honestly answering yes to these questions, you are in the company of a number of local individuals and organizations that strive to create a safe and culturally sensitive community.

Sharon L. Drummond, PhD, a Child and Family Development Specialist from the Community Prevention Partnership of Berks County (CPPBC), says there are many local opportunities for youth to learn about personal differences. “There are many advantages for kids living in Berks and Lancaster Counties, because you do not have to look for diversity, it is built into this area.” Her doctoral studies at Pennsylvania State University exposed her to different family environments within our state. “As you move further west in Pennsylvania, ethnic diversity becomes more scarce.”

Dr. Drummond highlights the need for caretakers to expose children to as many different people as possible at the mall, in playgrounds and at carnivals. She says the more frequently children are around people who are different, the less they notice obvious differences (like skin color and other physical characteristics), and the more comfortable they become with differences of all kinds. “If you go to the mall and your child sees someone with a different skin color or other physical characteristics, simply tell them that’s the way some people look,” she recommends. “Let kids lead the conversation and try to answer their questions until they are satisfied. This fosters understanding and an attitude of acceptance of different physical characteristics and ethnic backgrounds.”

Parents and teachers can use a similar approach for teens. “It can be difficult to change the attitudes of older children who have been taught that differences are somehow bad or unequal,” Drummond explains. She suggests parents be open and honest if they have concerns about their child’s attitudes toward others. “Depending on his or her age, you might be able to talk to them to find out why they feel a certain way. That gives an opportunity to explain how and why it’s okay for all people to be different.”

Dr. Drummond does, however, caution against calling too much attention to differences among people. Her opinion is that if such matters are presented as “normal,” or “just the way people are,” young people learn to accept one other’s uniqueness. “Adults need to practice what they preach because children learn more from what you do than what you say,” she points out. “If you have an open mind, your child will follow suit.”

Sharon Drummond also recommends having young people look at their own attributes, their lineage, cultural background and related traditions so they have a greater sense of who they are, and therefore have the ability to appreciate others.

One organization that truly celebrates local diversity is the Cultural Collaborative of Berks County. “The mission of our organization is to promote cultural awareness through education, outreach and community involvement,” states Suzanne Chistie, President of the Cultural Collaborative. She describes the organization as representative of all different ethnic backgrounds from all parts of the county. “We plan an array of community initiatives that foster communication, tolerance, respect and hope. The Festival of Nations, for example, is a multicultural celebration held each summer. It is designed to bring people together in projects of hope and understanding by sharing music, food, stories, and art,” Christie explains.

Christie recommends the following take-home and make-at-home activities:

• Ball of Yarn Game - Have your children form a large circle. Toss a continuous ball of yarn around the circle. Call out the name of the person you are throwing it to and say something admirable about that person. Highlight how the children are all connected and what beauty can be created together.
• The Billboard - This can be a vehicle for advertising pride in your ethnic background. Have children design and decorate a billboard that tells who they are. Encourage them to show positive things about their own heritage on the billboard.
• Teach folk dances and start a monthly club to celebrate dance! This is very easy and fun. Swap ethnic music - CDs, tapes and records with neighbors for variety!
• Each month have a night of visiting a new country. In that night have your family cook a dish from that country. Make a craft from that nation, a poster about the country and listen to music of that selected country.
• Make friends. Have your child become pen pals and arrange visits from students from other ethnic backgrounds.

“Teaching acceptance, tolerance and appreciation of cultures should be viewed as an ongoing process,” states Cheryl Guthier, Executive Director of the (CPPBC). She says she is encouraged by the growth she has seen in the area in recent years. “There is definitely more openness about the subject and an interest in it. By working with diverse groups of people, there is a lot to learn and a lot of friends you can make.”

“People often judge a whole group of people by how they are depicted in the media. Often when they are confronted with information (or statistics) that contradict media images, they tend not to believe the truth,” Guthier warns. She tells parents to work with their kids on developing what are called “media literacy” skills. “People must take a critical look at what images are being sold by the media.” She refers to the old adage: “believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.”

Guthier says young people should get directly involved in promoting tolerance and acceptance. It is her opinion that adults must also seek training and/or community involvement since they have a great deal of influence on youth. “If we are promoting the concept of tolerance, acceptance and cultural sensitivity, we as adults, must practice what we preach.”

“Within the community you can teach general awareness through cultural events like festivals and cultural celebrations,” Guthier explains. She says while such efforts have been very positive, people must also look at diversity among the different traits that make them who they are. “When you look at the characteristics and goals of all people, you must remember that personalities are often the source of the greatest diversity. This is in the ways in which people think or approach a situation or conflict,” she explains. “When you can get people to recognize that everyone has something to contribute, when you have people who recognize the value of diversity and you address a common goal or problem, you will see a better chance for success.”

“Once a person’s attitudes and behaviors are changed, so is that person’s home, their workplace and their community,” Guthier states. She contends that the community ultimately has the greatest impact on individuals. “Communities are facing serious problems that are impacting everyone, no matter where they live.”

Article submitted by Dina R. Melchiorre, Program Coordinator at Community Prevention Partnership of Berks County, 700 Lancaster Avenue, Reading, PA 19601. (610) 376-6988.

This article originally appeared in Parents' Source, September 20, 1999.
Re-printed by permission.